Why Dating Apps Slowly Destroy Your Self-Worth

Nikki had moved into her new apartment and started her new job in an office.

It had started out okay, but as time went on, she felt it was becoming more and more boring and routine.

She had taken up art studies and life were dragging on.

She avoided thinking about Joachim – it only made her angry.

Being friends, he had said.

Yeah right.

But as the months went by, she also felt it slowing down.

She tried to raise money for a psychologist.

It felt like there was a lot for her to sort out.

But psychologists cost money, and she didn’t have any.

She had decided to make a fresh start.

Gone was school.

Gone was Fredric and gone were Joachim and PlaynDate.

This was her new life, and she was miles away from the one she had been almost a year ago.

Answering the phone, sending letters and emails.

Filling in information in excel sheets.

Writing documents.

Monday to Friday.

Weekend.

Week again.

She knew few people in town and her coworkers’ resembled copies of the person she once was.

Some days she felt a longing for what she had.

What she created with Joachim.

It was still filled with adventure and despite his betrayal, she had felt safe with him.

But then that betrayal came.

One evening, as she sat staring at a movie, she picked up her phone and went into the store.

Slowly and quietly, she typed in PlaynDate.

There was no such app.

She thought for a while and typed in Dating Line and downloaded it.

In a few seconds, she had her dormant account restarted, but she didn’t bother to see if anything had happened there, which it hadn’t.

That was what the notifications said.

Instead, she typed in the alias she saw Joachim had had that fateful day they had lunch.

“Account paused” it said, but she could see his profile picture.

It had been taken just after she had styled him.

He had the new clothes she had bought for him, and he looked happy.

It wasn’t often that he had done that, but that day he had laughed like they had at the beginning when they started their work on campus.

She looked at him.

He still looked pretty good, she thought quietly.

She hadn’t thought about it when they worked together.

Better than several of the dates she had on campus.

But looks weren’t everything, she thought, and closed the app.

She went back to the movie.

Hope he had a good time.

Maybe the real problem was never love — only the way people searched for it.