The Emotional Cost of Endless Swiping

“It’s the least I can do,” she said.

“And as soon as I earn more, I’ll replace you for real.”

She had gotten a job in another city.

They hadn’t heard from the last venture capitalist in weeks, and he hadn’t been reachable either.

So, Nikki had found a new place to live and a new job in another city.

Their months together and their other projects were over, and now she wanted to take him to lunch.

He sighed inwardly.

Every second with her was a torment.

She had chosen one of the places she knew he loved, and she joked and tried to keep a good mood throughout lunch, but she noticed he was subdued.

“If they get in touch and give us the capital, I’ll come back.

But I have to do this now.

They’re not keeping the job for me, and they’re not keeping the housing either.”

“I know,” he said.

“It’s nothing.”

“I can see that it is,” she said and took his hand, and it burned again.

Please let go, he thought.

This was worse than torture.

In a day she would leave, and he could be himself.

It was a relief at least.

Where he would go was unclear.

PlaynDate had failed and he had no job, and Nikki was going far away from him.

How could he even be friends with her?

He realized that he would probably have to tell her if they were going to have contact.

Or he could just duck this until it was over.

Maybe that was the best thing.

Just recode his brain.

He had barely touched his food and now he had to go to the bathroom too.

He looked at her.

That she didn’t understand what was happening.

But she didn’t understand anything.

And he loved her for it.

Also.

“I just have to go to the bathroom,” he said and stood up.

“Okay,” she said and watched him walk away.

She stared blankly ahead.

He was strange.

He had been for a while, but it must have had something to do with the lack of investments.

Or he had something going on at Dating Line.

She certainly didn’t miss that.

Then she thought about the job she was going to take.

Receptionist.

She didn’t like the boss that much, but she had no choice.

She was going to take art classes in the evenings and keep studying until she knew what she really wanted to be.

Maybe it would be Paris, anyway.

Or a loft in New York.

When her thoughts were on a loft in lower Manhattan, his phone rang.

He had left it.

She sat up so she could see the text and she deciphered the characters on the screen.

And then she flew out of her chair and shouted straight out so everyone was looking at her.

“YES!” She couldn’t wait for him to get back.

She wanted to rush straight into the bathroom to him.

Dear Nikki and Joachim.

We have made a decision and agreed that we will provide half of the capital if you can find a party to provide the other half.

Please contact us for a meeting.

It wasn’t true!

She could screw up her job.

She could stay.

With half the capital secured, there was no match for getting the rest.

Fredric had taught her that.

Maybe she could even take advantage of him.

It would certainly work after all the shit he had done to her.

So where was he now?

How long could he be on the toilet?

The phone bleeped again, and she looked at it curiously.

Would there be more information?

There would be.

But it was also information that was the final nail in the coffin of their friendship.

The hardest part was never finding someone. It was daring to feel something.